7:06 a.m. - Sunday, Mar. 24, 2002
Ms Leslie looks at attending a wedding
Well, I weigh three pounds less today than I did last Sunday. Sure, I�ve been bouncing around in the same ten pound arena for months, but I�d rather see a loss than a gain. Looking at the big picture, I haven�t done awfully bad. I started out at (gasp) 262 and now I�m down to 237 (and a half). I think this week, instead of looking at the hundred pounds I still need to lose, I�m going to concentrate on just getting under 230 again. I was under 230 a few weeks ago. Then I started eating some bad stuff because I was working and felt justified in, you know, keeping up my strength.
I bought a couple of casual dresses I really like a couple of weeks ago. I bought them a size too small. I�d sure like to be able to start wearing them. That would be a great reward for losing weight. Wish me luck.
I�m pretty sure that today is the day I�ll finish Ann�s bathroom. All I need to do is touch-up the paint (again) and clean up the places where paint got onto the tub and shower. Then I can:
1. Replace the light fixture
2. Hang the new medicine cabinet
3. Clean and then re-install the toilet
4. Install the new counter, sink and faucet
5. Hang the new blinds
6. Hang the shower curtain rod
7. Hang the TP dispenser
8. Replace the switch and outlet covers
Oh� and I almost forgot.. we still need to seal the floor grout. I may save that until last, so we can wash the floor one more time before sealing it.
Arrgh!�. It still looks like a lot of stuff to do before I can say it�s finished. But it IS getting done.. honest! Every day I can see the progress. It just goes so much slower than I�d like.
I heard from my oldest son yesterday. He tells me he is planning to get married on 9/21. I�m glad of that. He�s finally found a good woman. I think they�ll be happy. Of course, now the wedding brings up some things for me to think about. Will I be invited? If so, how will I deal with my position as father of the groom? I won�t want to detract from the bride and groom�s special day, but I can�t just stop being who I am whenever it�s not convenient either.
So, what would be my advice to a good friend if I had one in this same position? I guess I�d ask her which was more important; making things comfortable for everyone around her, or keeping her sense of integrity no matter what? I�d have to tell her that she has always known that events like this would arise. Part of the decision to proceed with transition has to take into account the fact that there will be times when her past life will intersect with her current life.
It�s really Eric�s call. It would be easiest for us all if he simply chose to ask me not to come to the wedding. I�d be disappointed to a degree in the fact that he felt ashamed of me, but I�d understand. On the other hand, if he has the courage to ask me to come, then I�ll just need to match that courage by coming and being who I am. Both decisions are going to take courage, for sure. I guess the real problem will come up if he asks me to come, but to do my best to present as a man for the wedding. That would be so hard. I�ve already given up so much for this. If I am asked to be someone else, then in a way, it will mean I am giving up a part of my son� or he is giving up a part of me.
All I can say, I guess, is if you get an invitation to this wedding, you should definitely try to attend. If I�m there, it promises to be a pretty unusual event. You�ll get a laugh out of this for sure.
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