9:38 a.m. - Thursday, Apr. 03, 2003
Ms Leslie is trying to get started again.
Chaos is my greatest enemy. Well, OK..next to myself, it's my greatest enemy.
I'm trying yo just keep some kind of mental list going so I can write what I'm feeling day by day, but I'm so darn busy feeling what I'm living that I'm not finding much time to write about it. Not only that, but for me, writing and crying have come to define each other so closely that I usually have a hard time doing one without the other. They go together, you know... like a horse and marriage. But I can't cry while I'm writing here, because I am so in the public, and I can't write when I'm crying in y room at night, because there's no computer.... and I darn sure am not going to learn to use a paper and pencil at this late stage of my life. And in the meantime, I'm having, as I usually do, the best and most awful time of my life, both together at once. Someone should send me a XXL straight jacket with bent keys.
So anyway, I guess the best I can do is to just write a little at a time, about whatever it is that's on my mind at the moment. One day the incident investigation team can edit it all and put it in the proper order.
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