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4:31 p.m. - Wednesday, Mar. 19, 2003
Ms Leslie Packs Her Bags.. again

I guess I have to stop now. I wanted to tell you about my hour in the chair of Miss Melanie DDS, and about the two new birdy parents who decided no one must live here, since they never see me come doors and so took up residence in my hanging pot of climbing variegated ivy. They built a nest and then the mama laid three eggs in it. Now, whenever I do open the door, they both fly past my head with a flurry and scare me half to death. Now I�m getting used to it, so it only scared me a third to death, but it�s still too close to death to be scared just by walking out your own door.

But I�m still doing laundry and putting new sheets on the bed. Yes, I know.. I just PUT new sheets on the bed, but I want to have really clean sheets to fall onto when I come home tired, swollen and sore a month from now. I�m cleaning the fridge.. or soon will be, so I won�t have to wrestle with the fungus that almost got the best of me last time. And, as if I didn�t have enough to do, I invited the Avon Lady to come see me and recommend some face creams for me to buy. I�ve never met her, but she had the courage to leave a catalog hooked to my doorknob the other day. I figure the least I can do is buy something. So she�s supposed to be here in a minute�. No.. ten minutes ago, actually.

And then there�s the pre-game show on the fair and balanced news channel. What we�re gonna do, what HE�s gonna do. How many countries are on our side, who�s dumping wine� already paid for wine, by the way�. in the gutter and all the rest of the things people do when they become goofy with fear and uncertainty. I feel like I could be some kind of a minor dictator myself, packing my bags in front of the TV, watching with sideways glances and listening to hear if the tanks have started rolling yet. It seem obvious that the scenario is going to play out just that way for me too. I�ll be stepping an a plane tomorrow, about the same time all hell is breaking loose on a whole lot of innocents and handful of real assholes. If I survived the flights, if I survive the newfangled measles/mumps/pneumonia, if I survive the operation itself, I fully expect to come back to an America that is already post-war.

In the meantime, I don�t have time for all this. The post card request list is now officially closed. I took the easy way out yet again. I printed the names and addresses and cut them into individual labels. I�m taking a roll of tape with me so I can just tape the addresses to the postcards. Kind of like a postcard from your realtor, you know? But I�m taking a pen too, so I can at least write �hey� from the land of smiles (and smiling pickpockets)! On your card before I drop it into the mail. If you haven�t already asked me to send you one, I�m sorry, but it�s too late now.

The Avon lady came while I was writing this. She wasn�t too sure what to make of me at first. Never mind that I�m a masculine fifty-ish woman with a face like faux-elephant who has not the slightest idea of what she wants in skin care cream. I think she was having a hard time understanding why anyone would order Avon on the day before they leave the country. She got over it though, when I wrote a check for fifty bucks for a couple of bottles of night cream. She�s going to drop my stuff off at the office for me, and they are going to put it inside my door for me. How cool is that? And my new Avon lady will make it a point to get a hold of me when I come back. She can smell the sales. I on the other hand, who can just as easily buy face cream at my favorite store (Sam�s Club) smell a face to face relationship with a real person. Not that I�m buying love, mind you. I just felt that since I�m gong to buy face cream anyway, I might as well buy it from a real person and see if I can make a new friend. The face cream is kind of like free. Get it?

Oh.. OK.. the details of my trip:

This will be my last entry before I leave. Probably. I�m going to turn off the computer for the first time since last September.

When I get to Chonburi, I�ll use the computer at the clinic to make an entry here saying I have arrived OK. After that, I�ll be out of touch for about ten days while I�m in the actual hospital. When I get out of the hospital, I�ll write another entry here from Pattaya for those who might be interested to know if I lived through the surgery. I�ll also be checking my mail on the web, but I doubt if I�ll answer any of it. It�s too hard to write e-mail on the web. I always take too long and the stupid thing logs off and flings my letter into the lake of fire.

I�ll be back in the US on April 19th. Once I get jet un-lagged, I�ll turn on the computer and start living my life again.

Thanks to y�all who read me and care about me. You make me feel all big inside. I hope you�ll be safe, and so will all of those you love.

See you in Thailand.

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