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5:10 a.m. - Friday, Mar. 14, 2003
Ms Leslie Gets her Heart Pumping

They say, for good health, we should elevate our heart rate for at least thirty minutes each day.

There are lot o ways to do this. Two of them, for me, are to ride my air bike for ten miles or more. I average about 23 miles per hour on that. Or to ride my real bike for an hour or so.

Those are the easy ways.

Here�s another way I elevate my heart rate:

First, I spend months trying and failing to lose weight. I starve and binge, binge and starve, and eventually just give up on the starving and just binge, binge, binge. At the same time, I send a truckload of money halfway around the world where I have not a prayer of getting it back again, and I schedule myself for a big painful surgery.

Finally, as the big day draws nearer I convince myself that the surgery which is so important to me isn�t going to happen because I�m too fat and can�t lose weight before the surgery date. OK.. my heart rate isn�t up yet, but I�m getting close. At almost the last minute, I crack, and with big wet sobs, I write the following letter to the surgeons clinic:

Dr Kim;

I wish now I had not taken an earlier date for my surgery. I�m really embarrassed to say I haven�t lost any weight. Indeed, I weigh more now than I did at the time of my SRS. I�m not sure why I haven�t been able to lose weight. I�m in good health, blood glucose is good, I�m exercising, but I haven�t been successful at all at sticking to a reducing diet.

As a result, I�m very much afraid that I am going to arrive in Thailand only to find that Dr. Suporn feels that my FFS will not be appropriate until I have been able to lose weight. I will then have to ask for another date for surgery, try to enjoy my vacation, and return home to start again with my attempts to reduce.

I�m not changing my plans. I still intend to arrive in Bangkok as arranged. I�m only writing to you now to ask if I can reserve a future date now in case Dr Suporn doesn�t feel he can operate on me on Mar 25th. Your calendar fills up so fast it scares me. At the moment, your website shows July 29th to be open. Is it possible to put that date on hold for me pending completion of my surgery on March 25th? Of course, if Dr Suporn can do the surgery for me on Mar 25th, I wouldn�t need the later date.

Does this make sense?

Happy Thoughts, Deep Breaths

Leslie Smith

Now everyone knows I�m a loser. I�m hedging my bets even before I get on the plane. I�m already beaten. I�ve convinced myself I�m just going for a vacation. This is just about as low as I can get.

But then, in a matter of minutes, here comes the reply:

Dear Leslie

That is OK. We would not cancel once you have made the journey to Thailand. Dr. Suporn will do the surgery. He will do his best.

best regards

F.W. KIM PhD

And Wa LAHH!� My heart rate is tripled, and will remain that way until I fall into the sweet arms of Narcolepsy on the operating room table. Or, as I more cleverly put it in a private e-mail, until I�m sanitized, enemized, and have a bunch of IVs hanging out of my veins.

I�ve just gone from being 99 percent sure I won�t get operated on this trip to being 99 percent sure I will. My little charade is over. I don�t have anymore obstacles to throw into my own way. Heck.. I might as well just go ahead and lose weight now if I want to. It�s no longer life and death.

The worst thing that can happen, well�� the worst thing that can happen is that I could die on the plane or in the operating room. But discounting that, the worst thing that can happen is that when I lose weight later, as I surely will, if my face gets saggy, I�ll just go back for a second surgery to take up the slack. I want to go back for a tummy tuck and thigh tuck one day anyway. But that�s all in the future. My only big self improvement thing after this first surgery will be to lose weight. Sensibly, permanently, for good.

If I don�t give myself a heart attack first.

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