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11:39 a.m. - Monday, Sept. 30, 2002
Ms Leslie finds mental health in the beauty shop
I'm feeling better today. Writing here is really, really good for me. Even better is when Ann calls and I can talk to her a bit, and when I get a word or two of support from my guestbook. It really helps. Thanks y'all.

Of course, I have to say it helps too that I just got a facial that required me to remove my top and bra. These people don't seem to know where a face ends. They just keep going and going until decency and modesty prevail. Anyway, for 25 dollars, I had a shampoo that lasted thirty minutes and included a scalp, neck and shoulder massage, a facial that went over one hour with I don't know how many different potions, lotions, steam and cool cloths. It came too with a massage of my neck, shoulders, back and legs. The whole thing was topped of with setting my clean hair in a nice style that's easy to keep in this heat and humidity. A month or so ago, I don't think I liked myself enough to allow such pampering and foolishness to be inflicted on my unworthy self. That, more than anything else is what's changed over here during and shortly after my surgery. Suddenly, I realize that I care for myself very much and have every right to do so. I realize that no one can or will care for me and that if I am to get my needs met, I need to see to it for myself. After 53 years of mostly waiting and hoping someone would notice me and look after my needs, I am finished waiting at last. It ain't gonna happen folks, unless I make it happen for myself. I think it's time now to get the AC fixed in my old van so I can drive without sweating, and to buy a little microwave oven, so I can heat a meal. It's time now to take my clothing out of the boxes and allow myself to own a chest of drawers. I can't wait to get started.

(Sigh).... I leave Pattaya tomorrow at noon. Shoot. I'm just learning to get around here. I'll be happy to come home. I miss Ann... and yes... I miss that stupid fish. When I get home, if he's still living, I guess it's time to be good to him as well. Ann has told me she got him a larger fish tank. I think to go along with it, it's time I got him a woman. ANd who knows... maybe even a male for a sparring partner.

I'll be in Chonburi for a day and then in Bangkok for two. I think I can make a short update on the clininc computer tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll be close to a computer until I get back to the U.S. Until then, I guess it's like I always say anyway... no news is good news.

I love you guys... you know who you are.

Leslie

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