7:32 a.m. - Monday, Jul. 22, 2002
Ms Leslie finally takes a bath
I feel kind of silly.
Lio pointed out something I hadn�t thought of. Then I think I might have offended her by using the work �fuck� in my reply. Not as any kind of recommendation, just as an exclamation. Still� it was uncalled for.
Anyway, she directed my attention to the fact that not everything has to be �useful� to be valuable. How shall I explain this? Here, read what Lio said:
�Suppose I am from the tribe who dances in order to bring on the rainy
season. I've been to Yale, I've been to Harvard, I actually have a PHD in
meteorology (is there such a thing?) and I KNOW that dancing does not make
it rain. Yet I continue to dance every year. Why? Because I like to dance. I
like the tradition, the pageant, the ritual. Religion is about metaphor. I
know that I can't control the rain, and I depend on the rain for life its
self. I soothe my fears by dancing. The rain may be a metaphor for my own
happiness...I can't see it's coming , but maybe it's just around the corner.
I feel less powerless. I feel like I am a part of something, a chain, a
world, a machine, I am alive and in the place I am supposed to be, I am
healthy and sexual and whole, I am grateful and thankful and happy...and I
dance for all those reasons. I can't make the rain, but the earth will
provide the rain and I am ready to receive it. The dance is an observation
and celebration of how things work...not just MAKING it rain. It's more
like...how wonderful! Soon it will rain! I may feel a little worried...but
I'll dance and know in my heart that it may feel really dry now, but soon
relief will come. Science MAKES the rain, but taking notice and pleasure and
comfort from it...that's spirituality.
"Oh Yay!"says the PHD,"The rain is coming! The year is moving on! I'm
getting older! I'm living life! How lucky I am to have a dry season,
followed by a wet one! How lucky I am that my days of hard work will soon be
followed by rest! Let me celebrate, and teach my children that this is how
the world works."
And I guess that�s the point. One can dance for the same reason she believes a thing�. Merely because she wants to.
For me, dancing is, or has been, a silly, useless thing to do. It has no effect, other than the obvious aerobic benefits. It�s not like building a house, where sawing wood and nailing it together leads to shelter. So, I�m embarrassed to dance. I couldn�t find a reason to dance. Dancing just because I wanted to was not justification enough.
It�s the same reason I don�t take baths. Showers are faster, showers are cleaner. Showers wash the dirt and soap down the drain instead of soaking your bum in it. Showers are the way to go. So yesterday, I filled the tub with hot water and added some fragrant oil and lit some scented candles. Not just one, but several. I slipped into the water with a book I like to look at and just laid back and enjoyed the heat and moisture�. Not to get clean, not to teach myself a lesson, not to save water or to smell good, but just because I wanted to. And it was great. It occurred to me that I don�t have to always choose. I don�t always have to have good sense. I can take a bath AND a shower. I can feel good and also clean. What�s up with that? Why did I need to learn this from a young whippersnapper?
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