5:23 a.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 09, 2002
Ms Leslie wears her driver's cap
Yesterday Ann gave Phil the car and then realized she wanted to take the boys (her grandsons Nick and Ryan) out to get breakfast, buy groceries and get glasses ordered for Ryan. So I spent the day chauffering them around in the van. I�ve known these little guys most of their lives. Indeed, I�ve seen more of them in the last six years than I have of my own granddaughter. That�s pretty pathetic in itself.
Before I arrived to pick them up, Ann was a little concerned that they might be confused by my appearance. Little by little, over the last few years, they�ve seen me go from a macho guy with a mustache to a decidedly un-macho guy with long hair, artificial nails, and wearing women�s clothing. So she asked them if they had noticed anything different about me or if they had any questions. She felt it would be easier and more honest I guess, if she opened the subject for them. Surprisingly, they just looked at her and shook their heads no. They�ve noticed nothing different about me. That�s pretty hard for a grownup to believe, but I believe it. I�m not going to say they�ve noticed nothing different, because each time I�ve seen them after a long absence, they look at me in a different way. I can see that they�re a little unsure, if not actually confused my by look. Each boy definitely looks to his Pee-Maw (Ann) to see what her reaction will be to my appearance. The fact that she seems to notice nothing unusual or remarkable about me has an observable effect on the boys. They subconsiously.. or maybe consciously� come to the conclusion that there�s nothing unusual going on here and they just relax. Do they see me as a woman? No� even though they see me in womens� clothing, wearing lipstick and carrying a purse, they still refer to me as he and call me Les. I think kids must see differently than adults. That�s OK. I don�t mind. I can�t ask them to do something they�re incapable of doing. I�m just happy they are so accepting of whatever it is they understand about me.
We had breakfast at McDonald�s. I had coffee and then gave in to temptation by nibbling at a hash brown until it disappeared. The boys, believe it or not, don�t get to go to McDonald�s much. It was a huge treat for them to go out and explore the play area and sate themselves on all-american junk food. For their own protection, I can�t say here just what all they ate for breakfast, but I can say that sugar was involved� a fact that maybe didn�t come home to Ann until we went into the grocery store to shop. It was like pushing a buggy through a tornado.
The last of our errands took us to Wal-Mart, where Ann ordered Ryan�s glasses while I took Nick to pick up some socks and swim goggles for the pool. By the time we were finished, we found the parking lot fully involved with a gentle Mississippi thunder shower��. The kind that turns parking lots into lakes and roads into running rivers. I don�t mind the rain so much. What really bugs me is that I paid nearly a hundred dollars for a beautiful umbrella last fall. It�s the first I ever in my life owned; oversized, with a painted landscape in green and blue, it�s covered with big magnificent magnolias. It�s as much art as it is umbrella�. And it comes with a matching tote. I paid all that money and haven�t yet used it. Seems like no matter where I am when it rains, the umbrella is somewhere else. If I�m in the house, then it�s in the car. If I�m in the car, then it�s in the house. And if I�m anywhere else, it doesn�t matter where it is. It�s never ever where I am.
Anyway, swimming after shopping was out for the boys. They couldn�t swim in the rain because they might get,, you know�.. wet. I�m pretty sure they�ll want to swim today though. It seems to be nearly an everyday event when they�re here and it�s cheap entertainment for them. Give them a swim and a Coke float and they�re in kid heaven.
I�ve got electrolysis today with Sandy. I can�t wait to hear whether they liked Seattle and Washington State. I left an e-mail for Kim, asking her to write and let me know when they got home, but I�ve heard nothing so far. I hope they got home safely. Guess I�ll find out this afternoon.
I�m still not smoking, and here it is week two already. I�m not smoking, but I�m eating just about anything I see. I desperately need now to turn my attention back to dieting. No way am I through with the urge to smoke yet, but I�m going to have to deal with it some other way. I�m going nowhere with my diet, and I still need to lose as much as I can before September. No� in fact, I need to continue losing even after my surgery. I want to reach a normal weight.
So��. Instead of sitting here on my patootie writing a diary, I guess I need to renew my commitment by doing my exercises. I�ve missed them for two days now. No.. three. I didn�t do my bike on Saturday because I wasn�t feeling good. No wonder I�m not losing any weight.
Oh� I can�t end this entry without mentioning that Jerry, Phil�s friend who went fishing with him yesterday, gave me a fish. He caught a few spadefish. They look like large angelfish. Even the big ones don�t have a lot of meat, but the meat they do have is sweet and tender. I haven�t eaten one in many years. I thought it was really sweet of him to give me a fish and I brought it right home and cooked it for lunch/dinner with a little fried rice and yogurt. It was fantastic.
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