8:26 a.m. - Friday, Jul. 18, 2003
Events Surrounding my Birth
09/07/1949 - 11:15a.m.
Gee.... and you didn't know the internet was even invented yet!
I was born in Tremonton, Utah; a small farming town in Northern Utah. I was the first child of a 21 year old garage mechanic and his 17 year old bride. I wish I could tell you more, but I really can't remember.
I'm told by my mother that I was born healthy and normal in every way, except that my penis was nothing more than a "cute little button". In later years, that button would be the source of a lot of embarrassment in gym classes and later in the army. The truth is: I never did see any penis smaller than mine.
In 2000, my mother told me of a conversation with our family doctor sometime after I was born in which he stated that he "should have given me those shots". That was a very significant statememt. It alerted me to the possibility that beyond having a penis that was simply in the low end of the size range, I may have been considered abnormal at birth. I didn't do much with this new information or my suspicion until late 2001 when I discovered the existence of a condition called Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. It's included within the realm of intersexed conditions, although it's probably one of the mildest forms. Another name for it is "micropenis" or "microphallus". Any penis that measures less than one inch at birth is defined as a micropenis.
There are only two methods of treatment for partial AIS. The first and preferred treatment consists of administering testosterone injections in an attempt to stimulate further grown of the penis. The second, and less recommended approach entails revising the sexual organs surgically to approximate a female and raising the child as a female, including a program of female hormones beginning at puberty. In my case; in Utah, in 1949, this surgical approach was, I'm sure, never considered or discussed as an option. I'm not sure why I wasn't provided with the first option, however.
Finally, in Dec. 2001, I noticed something that has been staring me in the face for many many years. I took a few moments to actually examine my birth certificate. When I did, I discovered that the word "male" had been written on the form in a handwriting that was clearly different from that of whoever had filled in the remainder of the information. The handwriting closely matches that of the registrar, who signed my birth certificate nearly a week after I was born. What this implies is that for almost a week, no one was able or willing to write that I was a male. They either didn't know, or somehow forgot my sex.
I'm convinced that I was born with ambiguous genitalia. My mother can't confirm this. She is either unaware, has forgotten, or has blocked it from her memory. She did tell me, after a lengthy explanation of all I had discovered, that I "could be right". This may be all the confirmation I will ever get. It's enough for me.
Addendum: In November of 2002, my father confirmed that I was born with micropenis and that the family physician recommended testosterone injections for possible penile growth. He wasn't able to say why I wasn't given the injections; only that it was my mother's decision and that he wasn't involved with it.
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