8:45 p.m. - Friday, May. 30, 2003
Miss me?
OK.. it�s like this:
At the bottom of this entry, where it says �Coming Soon�? Well, don�t bet on it.
I started putting things down there to remind me that I wanted to write or say something about them. Unfortunately, I then start to think I have to write about those things before I can write anything else. So I don�t get to just sit down and write about what�s on my mind. Does that make any sense?
The good news is that while I�ve been ignoring my diary and feeling guilty for ignoring it, I�ve been doing pretty well. Oh sure, I�ve been gaining weight like crazy, but I�ve also been exercising every day. I think I may have topped out and am on the way back down again. Even if I�m not, I�m feeling stronger. The leftover stitches that have been sticking out of my head like bristles on a hog�s hair brush are falling away one by one. I just have a few of the irritating little bastards to go.
I�ve been getting out in my car and at the same time, I�ve been keeping the apartment a little cleaner. I also got off the dime and made an appointment with my attorney to start the ball rolling to see if I can get a court order for the state of Mississippi to recognize me as female.
And before you say it�. All this has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I�ve been religiously taking my medicine every day.
My younger son is coming to see me in June. I�m excited to see him, although I can�t help wondering how he will react when he sees me in person. We haven�t seen each other since just before I started to seriously transition to female. When I look at my old pictures, I realize just how much I�ve changed. It�s amazing, but perhaps shocking to see suddenly. I think it must be harder in some ways for my family to have to go through all this than it has been for me. No one came around and asked them how they felt about it. They were just informed on day that this is the way it is going to be. It� no wonder some of them couldn�t deal with it.
I�m broke too. That�s maybe the only downside to life right now. I hate being out of money. And of course, as soon as I ran out, I remembered a zillion things I really need and should have bought. Now I have to wait. It�s a small setback though. My needs are few, so it doesn�t take long for me to catch up. Besides, I�ve gotten the biggies. Vagina, breasts, face.. and a Lincoln. I should be slapped if I complain.
(Sigh) An uninspiring entry today, but an entry nonetheless. Baby steps, I guess.
I�ll do better, cross my heart.
Happy Thoughts, Deep Breaths,
Coming Soon: Or maybe not.
-Ms Leslie Goes to the Dogs� the Greyhounds
-Little Theater in a Little Town
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