2:58 a.m. - Friday, Dec. 06, 2002
No Xmas here!
Hey, if you�re looking for the Christmas spirit, you�re in the wrong place. I just realized that I�m not writing in my diary because I keep trying to write around Christmas and whenever I do, I wind up depressing myself and deleting the entry So, let�s just move on. You do yours and I�ll do mine.
I�ve been very hesitant to spell this next thing out for myself, much less anyone else. I�m not sure exactly why. Maybe some things really are too personal, even for me to write about�.. but, nahhh! So, here goes���
I need to make male friends, but don�t know the first thing about how to go about it. Yes, let�s be honest up front: I�d like for one or more of my friendships with guys to lead to sex. I mean, after all, did I really spend the money and go through the trouble of surgery just so I could recognize myself in the mirror? I think not! Like anyone else, I�d like to be held and loved. I�d like to give myself to someone. On the other hand, it�s not all about sex. It�s about the fact that I really like guys. All my friends at the moment are women, think they are women, or wish they were women. That�s fine. I love them to death. But I�d like to spend more time with guys who know they�re guys and are just tickled pink to BE guys.
So, dear diary� help me out here. Where does a lady of my station (and age) go to find association with men? I�ve thought of dance classes. I�d love to learn to dance. But lets� face it�I don�t think I�d go over really well when it came time to choose partners. And bars are out. I�m not a bar person and never was. At the opposite end of the spectrum, I think church is out too. I have a bad history with religion.
Other than dances, bars and church, I can only think of maybe Bingo (ick). Or�� hmmm, and this is just a thought now, but If there�s a hobby club out there that appeals mainly to men, like RC models. You know, the little remote controlled airplanes? Those things are cool, although not easy to fly. They�re for guys. But a woman could get involved too. She could be the Amelia Earhart of radio-controlled flight.
I have to go now. I have some looking up to do. If anyone has any ideas, I�d love to hear them�. Short of the local KKK. Yes, I know there are a lot of guys there too, but I�m just not attracted to men in burkhas, you know?
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