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7:44 a.m. - Thursday, Nov. 07, 2002
MsPiggie's face on a milk carton
I was nervous about attending the UNO panel yesterday, since I hadn�t been invited by the GGA person who coordinated the event. Still, I WAS invited by the class instructor, the charming Dr A. Did I happen to mention in my last entry that he was charming? I thought so. Anyway, I think it was a good thing I went. There were only two others there and although both were excellent in their presentation and organization, it�s hard to think of something as a panel when there are only two members. I felt a little outclassed by them. Both are professional women, pursuing careers, while I�m just a crazy old broken down vet. For that reason, I don�t think I was as talkative as I was previously but that�s probably a good thing too. I learned a few things by listening to them.

In short, I guess my overall impression is best summarized by quoting myself in an e-mail I just sent to a friend:

�The panel yesterday seriously needed a FtM transsexual, and a young one. Only three of us were there. Barbara, an exec in a power pin-stripe pantsuit, Di-Di, and attorney and diversity instructor in a kind of stately black tunic dress, and me, the poor relative in the latest from Wal-Mart. The class itself was more sedate or something like that. They were polite and interested but not as.... curious? I wonder if the serious tone of my colleagues was intimidating.

Still, it was a good experience. I get a lot of gratification out of sharing with people, so any time I get a chance to do that is a good time.�

��..

My therapist told me very early in my therapy that she felt I was resistant to suggestions. I could not believe she could think such a thing and was very offended. At about the same time, which would be almost two years ago, she suggested that I listen to music while I exercise. Well��. just to show how wrong she was about the whole resistant to suggestions thing, I�m here to announce that today I listened to music while I exercised on my air bike. Paul Simon, who I happen to think is one of the real geniuses of our time and whose name in the next century will be written alongside those of the greatest composers in the Western European culture. You know� Back, Beethoven, Brahms, etc? I�m not yet ready to admit she was right, but I will say that my prescribed time period was over before I had a chance to realize how miserable and tired I was. I paid her to be right, and then wouldn�t, couldn�t, can�t and won�t accept the fact that she just might BE right. I hate it when someone else is right.

���.

On a sadder note, MsPiggie, my female Betta has apparantly run away from home. She was in her bowl yesterday, but has gone missing somehow this morning when I went to feed her. She left no note; no reasons why. I�ve looked everywhere, thinking maybe she somehow leaped the three inches over the edge of her bowl and might be lying somewhere nearby. After a half hour, I still found no corpus delicti. It�s a mystery. The only thing I can add is that when I opened my front door this morning (FRONT door? Hell, it�s my ONLY door!), a white cat I have never seen came running to me expectantly, as if I had something for her. Could she know something? I don�t know now if I�ll be able to replace her. I walked through the pet section at Wal-Mart the other day and encountered the most disgusting display of dozens of male Bettas, each one in a small plastic cup with so little water it couldn�t even swim. Some of them even had to keep their bodies curved to fit in the small space and scant water. I am most assuredly NOT a PETA person but honestly, I felt like going to the paint section for some cans of spray paint, you know? But for all the males, there were no females at all. There just isn�t any call for them. So now it�s just barely possible that I might actually have sex before Ornery does.

Donations in lieu of flowers, by the way, can be made in MsPiggie�s name to the American Betta Club, c/o me.

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