4:30 a.m. - Tuesday, May. 21, 2002
Should I keep writing here?
I�m so lazy. I just can�t seem to keep up the effort to write entries for my diary.
Actually, it�s not laziness. I am writing like crazy to others.. especially my therapist. I actually have a lot going on right now. I�ve thought of just posting excerpts or maybe whole letters here, but I�m afraid some of it might offend people in my family or others who know me. So much of what I�m writing about and dealing with is part of me that no one ever suspected. Like my attraction to men and my feelings about that. Or how I�ve found little tiny ways to express my femininity even while living as a man. And I�m not always kind in my feelings or comments about various family or friends.
I�ve been trying to decide what to do. I can�t be truly honest here because of the hurt feelings or even anger that I�ll cause. I could lock this diary and not give out the password to family or friends. Or I could just let it all hang out and be totally frank and honest� let the chips fall where they may. Or I can do as I have been doing. Just stop writing here because it�s not worth the effort to sanitize all of my feelings and comments.
I can�t decide. Maybe, since you�re reading this, you have an idea or suggestion. If you do, I�d love to hear it. Just e-mail me.
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